Happy Fri-YAY everyone! We’re back in the swing of things here at PartyChat so it’s time for another edition of the Weekly Quick-Time Events/QTE’s/Cuties!

This week’s song to get you HYPE for the weekend is “Robot Rock” by Daft Punk. It’s an oldie but a goodie, and it perfectly fits this week’s main topic: TECHNOLOGY.

I’m gonna be honest with you guys, I’d never even heard of the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) prior to this week, but it’s definitely on my radar now. Now I’ll admit that I’m not the biggest techie in the world, but I do get excited when I see something really cool.

So, here’s a bunch of things I saw at CES 2020 (through Twitter because I wasn’t there):

First off…what the fuck.

What in the holy hell is this? Is that a sex toy or a torture device?

I guess it depends on who’s got their hands on the remote, but could you even imagine wearing this shit? I can’t. And I’d bet that it causes permanent damage to your dick too. Just stick to something like Roman wipes. (not an ad, not getting paid a dime to promote them, I just know from experience they work).

This is the coolest car that will never ever be made

Every year we see new car prototypes that look fucking awesome but will never be made, and this is the best of the best.

But while the car looks aesthetically incredible, the actual mechanics are so fucking weird. Could you imagine driving around LA with that “pulsating controller”? I’d wreck in the first 10 minutes. And the scales reflecting the driver’s is a relatively useless feature.

BUT STILL, really cool looking car. I love the wheels.

Quibi is a neat concept, but I don’t think it’ll land.

So the basic concept here is that they’re making high-quality shows that are specifically designed to be watched on the go (10 minutes or less).

And while I like the idea, there are already people doing this with platforms like YouTube, Instagram TV, Snapchat, TikTok, etc. So what is Quibi bringing to the table that these other apps don’t already have?

LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE BABYYYYYYYY. I mean literally, just bring back all the old Nickelodeon shows like GUTS and Double Dare and I’ll pay $5 a month to watch it.

The future of TV isn’t just 8K, it’s rollable

So this concept has been floating around for a few years, but I think this is the year I’m finally convinced that this will be in everyone’s household this decade.

I’m not gonna sit here and say that I’ve been bothered by how large of a footprint my TV takes up in my living room, but if I had the option to retract it for aesthetic purposes, I would in a heartbeat. It’s just another step toward the world we see in Blade Runner and I’m 100% here for it.

Foldable screens are coming whether we want them or not

So I’ll be a negative Nancy here and say that I really don’t give two shits about the whole foldable screen technology.

I don’t really see the advantage of having a laptop, tablet, or phone that folds in half other than it takes up less room in your carry-on bag. Is it cool? Absolutely. But I’m more interested in the technology that’s going to turn our devices into interactive holograms like Tony Stark has in the Iron Man movies.

I literally cannot wait for that tech and I hope it happens in my lifetime.

And finally, Alienware made a Nintendo Switch but it’s actually a gaming PC

So I’ve owned a Nintendo Switch for about two years now and while I love it, I know that from a hardware aspect it’s a whole generation behind our current consoles.

Enter Alienware, who is merging the power of a gaming PC with the Nintendo Switch portability. It’s an awesome concept. Imagine being able to take your entire Steam library around with you! Sure you can’t use a mouse and keyboard, and the screen is much smaller than a gaming monitor, but I still love the idea.

I would be slightly worried about things like xCloud and Google Stadia if I was Alienware though. If those products take off, this device would immediately become irrelevant.

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