I never thought this day would come, but alas, it is here.

I remember back in 2000 when I first played Pokemon Yellow. I poured hours and hours into that game until I had collected all 150 Pokemon and defeated the Elite Four. And I fucking loved it.

For the next decade, I would go on to play the “enhanced versions” of each new Pokemon generation. I beat Pokemon Crystal, Pokemon Emerald, and Pokemon Platinum and I can honestly say that I never got tired of the lack of innovation to the traditional Pokemon formula.

But now, at the age of 27, it has gotten old. Nothing has changed in almost 20 years. Pokemon Sword and Shield was supposed to revolutionary. It’s the first-ever entry in the Pokemon series to be on home consoles, and I had high expectations for it. But instead of feeling like a brand new home console game, it felt like a shitty 3DS port.

So yea, I didn’t enjoy today’s Pokemon Direct, where they revealed the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon port and the Expansion Pass for Sword and Shield. There’s nothing about those titles that interest me.

If you’re a kid who’s playing Pokemon for the first time like I did in 2000, I’m excited for you because I think you’ll really enjoy the new stuff coming in 2020. But if you’re a seasoned Pokemon veteran and that Pokemon Direct made you jump up and down, you’re either the blandest most boring human being alive or you’re really, really into furries.

I’m staying away until they decide to do something new and innovative with the franchise.

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