Happy Halloween everyone! It’s the last Thursday of the month, so it’s time for another edition of Going Off-Script, the monthly movie preview where I tell you my impressions of some of next month’s biggest movies. We’re out of the Summer Blockbuster season, we’ve moved through the horror/thriller months, and now its big boy time. Now is when you have most of the Oscar bait films released. There are some pretty big ones this month too, so this month’s edition is longer than usual. BUT, that doesn’t always mean there’s more quality content out there.

So let’s dive in shall we?

Terminator: Dark Fate (Nov. 1st)

I’m pretty sure when this movie was announced the entire world let out a resounding “UGH”. I mean how many more of these films are they gonna make? I don’t care that this is the first film since Terminator 2 that James Cameron has been a part of, I don’t care that Tim Miller (Deadpool) is directing, and I don’t care that the cast is filled with a decent pool of talent. All the Terminator movies are the same. Here’s the plotline: something new happened where all the events of the previous films don’t matter, there’s a new model of Terminator so two have been sent back in time (one good, one bad), Sarah Conner and/or her descendants are in trouble, and eventually they gotta go ask Arnold for help. Boom. You’re welcome. You just saved $11 and 2 hours of your life.

The Irishman (Nov. 1st)

Martin Scorsese. Robert De Niro. Al Pacino. Joe Pesci. These are the names that defined the golden era of crime/gangster films. Movies like Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, The Godfather, My Cousin Vinny, Casino, The Departed, and Heat. And now, they’re all back together again for one last hurrah. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this film will be great. You have three of the best actors of all time paired yet again with one of the best directors of all time. I mean, you could put the four men in a room and tell them to talk about rubber duckies for 3 hours and it would be fantastic. Pacino would have a great monologue about why his ducky is the best, De Niro would tell him to go fuck himself, and Pesci would throw a tantrum. It’d get an automatic 80%. Don’t go see The Irishman in theaters though, since it will be available on Netflix on November 27th.

Marriage Story (Nov. 6th)

Does anyone in their right mind think Adam Driver and Scarlett Johannson actually make a cute couple? No says I. Before today I’d never really heard of this film, but it’s already got a 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. The director is known for exploring the depths of human relationships in his films, and he’s already made an Academy Award-nominated film in The Squid and the Whale. And while the two leads are the main draw here, the rest of the cast is great as well. This isn’t a film I’m running to the theaters to see (partially because it’s coming out on Netflix Dec. 6th), but it’s one that I will definitely be checking out. Probably not on a date though since I prefer not to have my girlfriend crying her eyes out about how much modern marriage sucks and is doomed to fail.

Doctor Sleep (Nov. 8th)

Heeeeeeere’s Obi-Wannnnn! For those who’ve been living under a rock, this is the sequel to 1980’s The Shining starring Ewan as the older Danny Torrance. I was sold on this film early since the tabbed Mike Flanagan (Haunting of Hill House, Oculus) as the director, but I’ve really been kinda down on this film recently. First, the marketing for the film has sucked ass. None of the commercials or even the trailers have gotten me hyped to see it. Second, outside Obi-Wan, the cast has very little star power. They got the smoke show from the new Mission Impossible movies (Rebecca Ferguson), but that’s it. I would think they try to grab Jack Nichelson and Shelly Duvall for cameos, but I don’t think that’s gonna happen either. This is a wait and see for me.

Midway (Nov. 8th)

I would be willing to bet my whole bank account that this movie sucks. Not Razzie Award suckage, but mediocre way overhyped discombobulated suckage at the very least. Roland Emmerich just can’t make good movies anymore, and it’s a damn shame. This is the guy behind The Patriot, The Day After Tomorrow, and Independence Day. Great movies right? I agree, but he’s also made Independence Day: Resurgence, Stonewall, and 2012. In fact, he hasn’t made a film with an RT rating above 50% since 2000. Does he have the star power and budget to pull this off? Absolutely. But it’s gonna be horrible. I’d rather rent Hobbs and Shaw on Blu-Ray than pay to see this movie, and I have zero desire to see Hobbs and Shaw.

Honey Boy (Nov. 8th)

Shia LaBeouf is a wacko, but I love him. He’s probably one of my favorite actors from when I was a kid. And now, he’s making a biographical film about that time in his life. Lucas Hedges (Manchester by the Sea) will play a young Shia, while Shia himself will portray his own father. That dynamic is going to be so electric. Both actors are phenomenal at performing with deep emotion, and I fully expect to shed a few tears myself watching this film. It will be available exclusively on Amazon Prime, so figure out now who’s dick you’re gonna have to suck to get their password because this is a must-see.

Charlie’s Angels (Nov. 15th)

Pretty sure this will be a top Razzie contender this year. This film looks god awful and it has absolutely 100% no hope of being worth $10. Hell, I don’t think you could pay me $10 to see this movie. I think it’s gonna play out very much like the Ghostbusters reboot; “men are trash” will be the central theme, the action and humor will be very bland, and overall the story will be boring as shit. I really don’t think Elizabeth Banks is a good director, and I’m pretty sure they spent at least half the budget making Kristin Stewart look as much like Miley Cyrus as possible. If your girlfriend, mother, sister, best friend, wife, or child asks you to see this movie with them, you need to remove them for your life permanently.

Ford v Ferrari (Nov. 15th)

I couldn’t give less of a shit about cars. I drive a tiny beat up 2007 sedan that I plan on running into the fucking ground before I purchase another vehicle. Top Gear is probably in my bottom 10 things I would watch when I’m bored behind 2 Girls 1 Cup, 10 hours of the Teletubbies theme song, and Pitch Perfect 3 on USA Network. But aside from all that, I am very interested in this movie. Everything Christian Bale has touched in the last 10 years has been gold, and now he’s paired with Matt Damon and Jon Bernthal. The director has had mixed success over the years, but his last film was Logan. I think this film has Oscar nods written all over it.

Frozen 2 (Nov. 22nd)

Ok so I’ll admit that I started writing this blog last night and I got to the Frozen 2 trailers around midnight and thought “um, this movie doesn’t look that good.” Now I’ve had my coffee and my brain has gone a full 180. The animation looks fucking incredible for one. That opening scene in the trailer? Damn. I know we’ve seen the “who am I and where am I from” storyline over and over in kids movies, but the addition of the sisterhood storyline between Anna and Elsa looks like it will be just fresh enough to keep me interested. Again, I’m not dying to see this movie in theaters, but if my family or friends want to see a movie on Thanksgiving weekend, I’d be down for Frozen 2.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (Nov. 22nd)

There isn’t a better person on Earth past or present that would be a better fit to play Mr. Rogers than Tom Hanks. I don’t even really give a shit about this movie, but I know that my boy Tommy is gonna keep me interested throughout the entire runtime. If he doesn’t walk away with a Best Actor nod I will staple my balls to my couch. I shouldn’t have to say anything else to convince you but I guess I will anyway. The cast is small but solid, the director is very good, and I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE IT’S TOM HANKS PLAYING MR. ROGERS SHUT UP AND GO WATCH THE DAMN MOVIE.

21 Bridges (Nov. 22nd)

God, I want Chadwick Boseman to be in a good movie again (outside of The Avengers). Unfortunately, I don’t think this one is it. It sucks because the cast is stacked with some of my favorites. Outside of Boseman (Black Panther), you’ve got J.K. Simmons (Whiplash), Tim Riggins (Friday Night Lights), and Stephan James (If Beale Street Could Talk), AND you have the Russo brothers producing the film. Ya know, the guys behind The Avengers films? But my issue with this movie is two-fold. First, the director Brian Kirk has never directed a theatrical film; his main claim to fame is directing three Game of Thrones episodes from Season 1. We’ve seen it time and time again and I just don’t think TV writers have transitioned to the big screen outside of a few outliers. Second, the writers for this film have had very little success, and most of it has been due to things outside of the story. Do I think it’s worth a watch? Yes. On Redbox. But that’s it.

Knives Out (Nov. 27th)

Ok I understand that not everyone enjoyed The Last Jedi. Leia Poppins flying through space was stupid as shit. Luke almost killing a young Ben Solo was wrong in so many ways to his character. Believe me, I totally get it. But don’t completely write off Rian Johnson just yet; he is a phenomenal filmmaker. Brick and Looper are both cult classics that I would happily sit down and watch again on any Saturday afternoon. And I think his best is still to come with Knives Out. The cast is so fucking stacked that to name everyone would take forever. But hey, I’ll do it anyway:

  • Daniel Craig (James Bond for the last decade)
  • Chris Evans (Captain America, duh)
  • Ana de Armas (SMOKESHOW, Blade Runner 2049, and future Bond girl)
  • Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween franchise)
  • Michael Shannon (INCREDIBLE actor)
  • Toni Collett (Hereditary)
  • Christopher Plummer (All The Money in the World)

Have we seen the “whodunnit” script over and over in film? Yes. Does it matter? No. I guarantee there will be enough twists that no one saw coming that will keep you on your toes this entire film. And so, Knives Out is my must-see movie of November. I haven’t done great on these predictions all year, but this is the one that is going to set me straight.

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